Stunts Seen on TV
by Inyunaruto365
Summary: Me along with Shrek and the gang are doing afew things that we've seen in Jackass the Movie. More Chaps. ahead
1. The Human Bullet

Fiona turned on the camera as it was taping me, wearing my black Invader Zim shirt with pants, and a smile on my face.

"My name's Leah Roberts, and this is the Human Bullet," I said as Shrek had tape and two skateboards in his hands, taping them on my stomach and back.

"I can't believe you're gonna do this," Fiona said, looking at the steep hill that I was going to go down then back at me, "You know, you have a slim chance in not kmaking it at the bottom."

I put on my helmet and began to put on the skates on my knees still smiling. "I know. But that's what makes it better." Then, I saw Fiona's friends, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Cinderella walk up to where I was standing.

"What are you doing?" Sleeping Beauty asked as Fiona continued to videotape everything. Even her princess friends.

"Leah's gonna go down that hill," Fiona pointed as her friends looked at the street hill, then at me.

"You know you might not make it to the bottom in one piece," Snow White told me.

"I know." I walk up to the street and took a deep breath, "Well, here I go." I get on my hands and knees, and began to ride down the street with Fiona's help by pushing me.

I was doing fine until a moving carriage in the way as I laid flat on my stomach with the skateboard on, going under it, seeing some people in the way when I turned the curb. "Out of the way! Human Bullet coming through!" I yelled as people moved out of the way when they saw me flying by. I thought I was going to make it at the bottom until the front wheel of my skateboard broke off, making me spin out of control, and hit the store wall head on.

Shrek and the other princesses saw this, and ran down the hill.

"Leah, are you alright?" Fiona asked as I layed on the ground and took of the helmet that had blood on it, along with some blood running down my head with a smile on my face.

"Yeah, I think," I said, seeing the paramedics come with a stretcher, "Did you get all of that?"

"Yeah. Even the part with you hitting the wall." The people with the stretcher came out of the truck and picked me up, seeing that Fiona was still taping this.

"I'm Leah Roberts, and the Human Bullet just crashed," I said.

To be continued


	2. Bikini Waxing

The Hospital

Shrek, Fiona, my brother David, and my mom were walking into the Far, Far Away Hospital to see me where Fiona still had the camera on.

"It's been an hour since the Human Bullet did her death defying stunt," She said over the camera, walking down the hallway, "We're going to room 221A to see how she's doing."

They went to room 221A, seeing my laying in bed with bandages wrapped around my left arm, forehead, left knee, right cheek, right wrist, and round my head as I waved to everyone.

"Hey, guys," I said.

"I can't believe you just did something like that," My mom said.

"What did the doctor say?" David asked.

"He said that I don't have any broken bones. Just a few deep cuts and bruises," I told him, "I might be out of here by tomorrow."

"I can't believe you did that," Shrek replied, "From now on, I'm gonna call you The Human Rocket." I laughed, laying my head back on that pillow.

"It's official. The Human Rocket still lives," Fiona said, turning the camera off.

One Month Later

After recovering from the skateboard incident, (Just to let other people know that I really did try to go down a steep street on my hands and knees on my skateboard. But it didn't turn out that well) Shrek, Fiona, Lillian, Sleeping Beauty and I went into a Bikini Wax store. I was holding the camera this time while Lillian was asking someone if her son-in-law could get a wax job, and they said yes.

Shrek wore black shorts, sandals, and no shirt while he sat in a chair waiting.

"Dude, I can't believe you're gonna get a bikini wax," I said, facing the camera toward the green ogre.

"I know. But I needed on sooner or later and let some of this hair go away," Shrek smiled.

"You know, this is going to hurt, Shrek. I'm telling you right now," Sleeping Beauty answered plainly, "It may not for some women because they have a stronger thresh hold to pain than men."

"Oh, come on. How bad could it be?" Shrek said nonchalantly as the woman began to put the wax on his chest, putting a flat plastic paper over the area, flattening it.

"Well, this should be interesting," Lillian muttered as the woman quickly pulled of the tape, hearing Shrek yelled in pain as we laughed.

"Told you it was gonna hurt," Sleeping Beauty laughed.

"How can you woman go through this torture?" Shrek asked as he yelled from the pain again from the woman pulling more hair from his chest until it was completely clean. Next were the legs, "Why did you talk me into this?"

"I didn't. You wanted to come and see how it felt," Fiona reminded him, hearing him yell in pain again from the woman pulling away more axes hair away from his legs.

After 6 minutes of hearing Shrek screaming in pain, the woman was finally done! He had no hair on his chest or legs at all. He looks as smooth as a baby's bottom.

"I am never going to as about where ladies go again!" Shrek said, hearing us laugh.

"Well, look on the bright side. At least you can tell your friends that you know what some women have to go through when they wax their legs," I laughed, seeing Shrek with an annoyed look on his face.

"Oh, leave me alone!" He said sadly as Fiona gave him a hug, smiling at his reaction.

I turn the camera, so it was facing me, which showed me with bandages from a month ago, smiling. "And that, folks, is why men shouldn't do what women do……Well, some of them, anyway." Then I turned the camera off.


	3. Underwear Wrestlin!

Somewhere in the middle of the night, Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, I, and Hinata (From Naruto Shippuuden) were walking down a grassy field being careful not to fall on anything since Shrek has the camera in his hands now turned on. We kept on walking until Fiona stopped walking.

"Fiona, why did you stop walking?" Shrek asked, pointing the camera at her.

"This is it," She said wore had on a black robe covering her body, along with myself as I walked beside Hinata and draped my arm around her shoulder.

"And just to let you guys know who this is, this is Hinata Hyuuga. A new friend of mine form school," I introduced her to the camera who shyly waved at the camera with a small smile on her face.

"H-Hi. N-N-Nice to m-m-meet y-you," Hinata said.

"You were saying about that we're here, Fiona?" Shrek wondered, pointing the camera back at her.

"The wrestling arena," Fiona said, taking off her robe to reveal her wearing one my HHS shirts from gym that was long enough to cover her wearing green underwear, "Are you ready to fight?"

"Yes, I am," I took off my robe that revealed me wearing a red shirt with white Naruto underwear as Hinata walked in front of the camera and us.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to something that I like to call The Sumo Gladiators," She announced, moving out of the way, and blew the whistle for us to begin the fight.

I charged at Fiona, head butting her in the stomach as I felt her grab me by the underwear, hearing them begin to rip. Fiona then lifts up me in the air and slams me on the soft grass as I grabbed her by the legs, making her lose her balance and fall on her back where I pinned her to the ground with a smile on my face until she compressed her weight against mine, pinning me down to the ground.

"I can't believe I'm actually watching a cat fight. And your wife is in it," Donkey replied.

"I know. But what does the winner get?" Shrek asked.

"……I haven't really thought of that myself," Hinata said, hearing another rip, only this time, it came from me tearing Fiona's green underwear clean off.

"Ha! I win!" I cheered triumphantly, giving Fiona her half torn undies, "…..I think."

"I guess. Now, gimme those," Fiona said, getting her robe, along with her torn underwear, and put it on, "I'm going home."

"Dude, you're now mad because of Leah winning, are you?" Donkey asked.

"No. I'm just tired."

() The Next Day ()

I was walking down the street with Shrek, Fiona, and Snow White who wore hockey clothing, along with me as we put down our sticks, and began fighting violently. In the background, Shrek and Fiona were laughing. After 5 minutes of fighting, a police officer came to break us up.

We walked off from the scene, smiling, seeing Shrek and Fiona laughing.

"Nice work," Shrek replied, pointing the camera at me and Snow as I took off my helmet, "I thought you guys were gonna fight longer."

"Well, we were until the police came and up broke the fight," I said, rubbing my right eye since Snow White gave me a black eye.

"So, are you guys gonna do it again?"

"Yeah, but this time, we're gonna fight inside the mall."

"Which one?"

"That one," I pointed at the nearest mall called 'Hal to Halmart' as we walked in, finding a place for me and Snow White's 'fight' where we found a place near the video games aisle and began fighting again. Pushing down game stands, and ramming into walls.

Then, three managers came to break up the fight again and asked what was going on.

"We're fighting because she tripped me up on the ice, losing the game!" I pointed at Snow White.

"It's your fault for losing the fame, you douche bag!" She yelled, approaching me until the three managers stopped her.

"Well, you can't fight her. Now, get out of here," The first manager said as we walked out of the store laughing.


	4. The Icebreaker

Leah was running down the street wearing a ninja uniform with a sword as Carley followed behind her.

"Get back here!" Carley yelled.

"Never!" Leah said.

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Somewhere else in the United Kingdom, Leah, Naruto, Shrek, and Fiona were walking into Carley's room trying not to wake her up. Naruto was holding the camera trying not to laugh as Leah had an guitar in her hand who said.

"Hi, this is Leah Roberts. Carley doesn't know I'm here, so I decided greet her with a little guitar solo," Leah whispered trying in the camera picking Carley's sister Molly up, "And thanks to Molly, she was able to show me where Carley. And this skit is called The Guitar Wake Up Call." Leah slowly walks in Carley's room with who quietly plugs the electric guitar into the amplifier. She turned it up all the way to ten and began to play it loudly causing Carley to jump out of her bed and onto the floor.

Leah and the others laughed who heard Carley say, "What the hell was that?" turning on the light who saw Leah with a smile on her face. "Leah? What are you doing here?"

"I decided to wake you up," Leah said still laughing.

"You jerk. You almost gave me a heart attack," Carley said hitting Leah in the arm as Leah gave her a hug.

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Somewhere outside, there was a huge sheet of ice as people were looking in awe at the sight of the wonder until they saw Leah run through it and land on the side of her body. She was on the ground grunting in pain as other people were staring at the light brown skinned female who slowly stood up from the impact hearing Shrek who was holding the camera, along with Snow White, Fiona, and Carley.

"Are you alright?" Shrek laughed seeing Leah walk/limb to where the others were.

"Yeah. I think so," Leah said with a smile on her face feeling something wet run down the side of her stomach and leg.

"Dude, I think you're bleeding," Snow White said laughing also.

"I know," Leah said as she lifted half of her shirt revealing a long gash that ran down the side of her stomach and another one that was running down her right arm.

"I'm surprised you even got up after that impact like that," Fiona said.

"I know. I've tackled down people bigger than that shade of ice. I was surprised to even break it let alone go through it like that." Leah looked and remembered what Carley said about blood as she ran to where Carley to try and squeeze some more blood to freak her out.

"Get away from me!" She warned running away from her girlfriend as Leah laughed at that along with Shrek and the others before walking back to the Leah's house.

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Mai was wearing a panda suite skating down the street of Fuka Academy where Natsuki ran into her way and knocked her down along with the brunette as Leah laughed seeing the two girls laid on the ground groaning in pain.

"Ugh, Natsuki, what was that for?"

"I have no idea."

"And I got it all on tape," Leah chuckled.

Leah was walking down a hallway wearing a black helmet. She was also wearing black baggy pants with white hunter shirt whose hair was shorter and differently angled.

"Hi. I'm Leah Roberts, and I'm gonna see how good Carley's hearing is because of what she has. By wrestling her down," Leah said to the camera Natsuki was holding as the brunette turned the camera to face Carley who wore a black shirt with baggy pants and no shoes, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, I'm ready," Carley said with a smile on her face as the two walked into a wrestling room, "Hi. I'm Carley Palmer. And to make the odds even, Leah's gonna be blindfolded along with myself. And this skit is called The Blind Wrestler."

"Let's do this!" Leah puts on the blindfold over her eyes along with Carley as Leah charged at her who was able to move out of the way from hearing her girlfriend's yell. Leah hit the wall who heard Natsuki laugh along with her friends watching this as Leah stood up and tried again without yelling as Carley grabbed Leah by the shirt and slammed her to the ground.

Then Leah was able to grab Carley's left arm and use her fingernails to sink them into the twenty year olds skin who yelled from the pain before letting go as Leah tackled Carley to the ground. Feeling Carley pull Leah's shirt informing her to let go before Leah knew it, her shirt was completely pulled off that left her with the black bra she was wearing along with the black baggy pants she wore as Carley, from out of nowhere kicked Leah in the face making teen let go of Carley and fall to the ground. Feeling Carley sit on her chest.

"I surrender! I surrender!" Leah called out as Carley got off of her girlfriend's chest, took of her blindfold, and cheered in victory, "Can I have my shirt back?"

"Sorry. Here." Carley hands Leah her white hunter shirt as Shrek walked up to Carley and said.

"And the winner of the blind wrestling match is Carley," Shrek said raising Carley's left arm.

"What happened?" Natsuki asked Leah.

"I don't know. I tried to get Carley, but I couldn't get my hands on her. She kept grabbing on me and taking me down. And when she kicked me square in the face, I decided to quit," Leah explained rubbing her bloody nose, "This goes to show you kids. People who have sight problems will kick your ass. Trust me." Carley walked up to Leah and gave her a hug.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like that," Carley said kissing Leah on the forehead.

"It's okay."


	5. The Branding

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A/N: These ideas came from watching Jackass the Movie 2. Most of them don't belong to me if you recognize them from the second movie of Jackass.

Enjoy!

Shrek walked up to the camera with a skateboard in his hand near a steep ramp and sighed. He climbed up the ramp, rode it down with his skateboard, and slammed into the wall.

The others laughed as Shrek laid on the ground in pain.

"Uhg! This is the worst I ever thought of!" He grunted slowly standing up and walking away from the camera.

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The camera was pointing at Naruto who was holding a big green ball in his hands on Leah's rooftop.

"Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and this is the Ball Bounce," He said jumping off the roof with the green ball who bounced off and landed on the side of his butt who held it in pain, "Ah! Son of a Bitch! That hurts!"

"Are you alright, Naruto?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I think I broke my tail bone."

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Somewhere on a farm, Naruto, who had the camera in his hands, Leah, Carley, and Hinata, who didn't wear a shirt expect for the bra she wore.

"Hi, I'm Hinata Hyuuga, and this is the Bran," Hinata said as Leah had the metal branning thing that has the Japanese kanji symbol that read friendship on it.

"I thought Leah was gonna get branded," Naruto thought.

"When I told my mom what I was going to do, she told me not to after what some people did back in the 1900's or something," Leah said heating the brand metal up, "So, since Shizuru isn't here, I decided to brand someone instead."

"Good point," Naruto said, looking at Hinata, "But I'm surprised that you Hinata would do this."

"I know. I was surprised also," Hinata said.

"You know this is gonna hurt."

"Yeah. I know. Let's get this over with."

"Now, I'm gonna put three. One on your but, and two on your back, okay?" Leah said

"Okay. Just do it already, okay?"

"This is for what you did to my kind!" Leah said as Hinata turned around and pulled her pants down for Leah to brand her on the butt. She did as Hinata yelled in pain immediately moving out the way hearing Naruto and the others laughing at this. "I told you this was gonna hurt."

"Just keep doing it on my back. Hurry!" Hinata said.

"Okay." Leah tried not to laugh as she branded Hinata again on the back twice who screamed again from the hot metal hitting her flesh. Afterwards, Hinata immediately ran to where the fountain of water to cool the flesh off from when the branding was over as Leah laughed along with the others."I told you it'll burn."

"Shut-up," Hinata said as Naruto ran to where she was and light rubbed her lower back.

"At least you did something out of fun other than listening to your father," Carley said.

"Yeah. That's true. How does it look?" Hinata pulls her pants down a bit where Leah and Carley saw a visible Japanese kanji symbol on the left side of her butt along with two other ones on the lift and right side of her shoulder blades.

"It looks good. But I'm afraid what it will look like when it starts to bleed," Carley said.

"But does it look awesome?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm good. I don't care if it bleeds," Hinata said walking away from the farm as Leah dropped the branding stick and walked away with the others.

------- Later That Day!-------

Hinata was walking with Naruto holding the camera.

"Today, I am going to show my girlfriend Sakura what I did today at the farm," Hinata said walking up to Sakura's house who knocked on the door. Sakura answered it and Hinata and Naruto came in.

"You wanted to show me something, Hinata?" Sakura wondered.

"Yeah. This." Hinata lowers her pants revealing a red area of the branding that occurred as Sakura was surprised to see that.

"Oh my god! What happened to you? Naruto, did you do this to her?"

"No! It was all her idea to get branded like this!" Naruto said still holding the camera.

"And that's not all. Check this out." Hinata lifts the back of her shirt revealing two other Japanese symbols that read, 'Love' and 'Demon,' making Sakura gasp in horror at sight of that.

"Hinata, why would you do that to you beautiful skin? You're gona have that for live, you know!"

"I know. It's gonna suck I won't sit that well for a few weeks also," Hinata said.

"Well, it's your fault the happened," Sakura said.

"Well, duh!"

"I wonder who Hinata's father will react to this?" Naruto wondered.

"God, I don't wanna know," Sakura said as Hinata laughed giving the pink haired girl a hug.


End file.
